Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, it is officially 2006! We stayed up to see the new year in. (Although I usually stay up to see each new day in, but anyway, lol) I'm sitting at the computer blogging (obviously) for the first time in over a week. M is lying on the bed, looking very sleepy.
I've got such a good feeling about 2006! Look how good it looks in print: 2006.
My body is sore, but my spirit is soaring!

Happy New Year, everyone.

Update on knee and thank you to friends

My knee is still pretty sore. It used to be okay in the morning and get progressively worse during the day. Now it’s 24/7. It’s not that I can’t handle the pain, it’s just that I’m so scared I’ve done permanent damage to it.
After all I’ve said about taking things for granted, I went and took my knees for granted. If it gets better, I’ll feel a lot less whingey about my other problems, that’s for sure. I didn’t know how good I had it, lol.

I’ve got to go and bath and wash my hair now, and I’m not looking forward to it because it’s going to be seriously painful. Mmmmm, not much choice though, lol.

Michael is out playing a much deserved round of golf, and after that he is taking me to my parents. (My knee just gave an involuntary contraction as I wrote that, thinking about the trip. Ouchie). It’s harder to get me to move these days than Table mountain itself, lol.

I have a special message for my regular commenters (a grand total of four of them) for their sweet and supportive comments.

Melany:
You are such a special part of my life. Always supporting, always making me smile. And sharing your darling boys with me. Thanks for being the wonderful person you are. Merry Christmas, and may 2006 bring everything that you’ve always wanted.

Donna:
You are my hero, inspiration and role-model. Whenever I am having a hard day, I think about how you would handle it. MS sure doesn’t slow you down. I want to be just like you. You’ve taught me a lot, and helped me through some rough spots this year. Thank you very much, I admire you tremendously. And I love your wit. Merry X-mas.

Christel:
I got to know you through Melany. I know what great friends you are, and I’ve heard plenty about how cool you are. You are a very sincere and amusing person. Thanks for the cheery comments, and for your zany, fascinating blog. Happy holidays.

Cate:
I was delighted to make such an interesting and nice new friend so soon after signing up on Blogger. I thought it was just me that loved (illustrated) children’s books. Now I know I’m not the only one. I love reading about your family, and your part in it. Thank you so much for your kindly and caring comments. Much appreciated.

So Merry Christmas, and thanks for being a part of my blog. As a new blogger, each comment is like a little present just waiting to be unwrapped. I’m sure y’all know the feeling.

Hopefully next time I post, it will be with a fully functional right knee.
Till then, au revoir, and I hope Santa brings just what you asked for.

Merry Christmas

It’s been rather a nice week, apart from a few minor troubles, which I will discuss later, no worries.
*We’re having plenty of rain, which is lovely. It’s so nice to feel cool in December.
*Mel’s rash is much better. I’m so glad about that.
*I’ve stuck to my diet for three whole days. Yay! Didn’t put a foot (or a taste-bud) wrong.
*To balance out all the day-time tv I’m watching, I’m busy reading a classic. ‘Of Mice and Men’ by Steinbeck. That looks so wrong, I hope I have his name right. You know, he also wrote ‘The Pearl’, and ‘The Grapes of Wrath’. That dude. It’s pretty good. Only 98 pages, but quite intriguing. And it’s making me feel better about all the 7de Laan I’ve been watching, lol. Soap-operas are just so obvious. You feel like your intelligence is being insulted continuously. Which is why it’s nice to read some actual ‘literature’, because half the time it’s so obscure that you feel quite good about yourself that the author thought you were intelligent enough to understand half of his ramblings (even though you don’t have a cooking clue what he’s on about most of the time). Maybe I should just go back to reading my tabloid magazines, lol.
*I love my hubby sooooo much!
*Spoke to my sis-in-law and goddaughter on the phone today. I miss them a lot, haven’t seen the family in ages. My littlest niece is growing up so fast, learning to walk and talk, and I’m MISSING it. I have to make a plan.
*My sister has decided to call her baby boy ‘Christopher’ when he’s born. I absolutely LOVE that name. They said they’re going to ask M and I to be godparents. Yay. I do love being a godmother. I can’t wait to meet the little chap.
*We’re still waiting to hear what the gender of my sis-in-law’s babe is. She’s not quite finished her first trimester. Judging by their other two kids, the latest arrival can only be completely adorable and gorgeous.
*Little Zander (Mel’s babe) is also doing fine. He was just a little zonked out from the meds that Mel has to take for her rash.
*Baby sis is coming down for Christmas. So at least half the tribe will be here for Christmas. With 6 kids in the family, it’s a bit hard to synchronize Christmasses so that we’re all together.
*Still can’t decide whether I’m having a relapse or not. But IF I am, it is moving MUCH slower than the last one did, which is progress. Believe me!
*M is a bit stressed out from work (and his demanding wife, lol) due to the pre-Xmas rush. He’s thinking of going to visit his brother and family between Christmas and New Year. I won’t be able to go with (more about that later), which I am sad about, but I don’t want to keep holding him back. He’s been wanting to visit them for ages, and he may not get another chance again in a hurry, due to work. I told him he can go without me, as long as he’s back in time for my birthday.

Now for the minor troubles that I mentioned earlier. I’m in AGONY with my knee. I want to (and do) cry out in pain when I put weight on it. I can’t handle the stairs in our flat anymore. The knee just isn’t getting a chance to heal, because I keep straining it.
So I’m going to my parents tomorrow to see if I can’t get some (lots of) bed rest with it. If it doesn’t get better in say, three days time, I’ll have to go to the doc. Brilliant timing, as usual.
It’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow, so I’d like to spend the day with her anyway. She is supposed to be resting her shoulder, so we can keep each other company. The wheel chair I use is over there, too, so I won’t have to walk at all. Here’s hoping it gets better.
Only thing is, we had plans to spend X-mas day with M’s family. But if my knee is still in this shape I don’t think I’ll be able to go. I find their house very inaccessible at the best of times, with my walker. And I can’t like the idea of being carried in there like a piece of freight. I just hope my leg is better by then, otherwise I’m staying at my parents. They won’t be home, as they have made reservations to eat out, so I might be in for a lonely Christmas. Hope not, though.
Anyway, I won’t be home again till I can actually climb the stairs to my bedroom, however long that might take, so let me just say: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Just in case.

Ain't nothing gonna breaka my stride...

I’m having a funny week. One moment I’m as happy as a pig in sh*t, the next I’m in a bit of a fouler. I’m not moody as such. It’s just that things keep happening. Like right now my right knee is excruciatingly painful. I have no idea why, I guess I must have strained the ligament. It’s been like this for a couple of days. I think I should spend the day in bed to give it a rest, or it won’t get better.

I’m up and down like a yo-yo at this point in time. I seriously can’t make up my mind whether I’m having a relapse or not. Some days I’m convinced that I am, and other days I’m convinced that I’m not. Today is an in between day, because a) I’ve hurt my knee, so I can’t really judge how the walking is going because it’s too sore to put weight on it, and b) my eyes seem to be a bit hazy, which is not a good sign at all. (Updated to add: my eyesight did improve a lot after I cleaned my glasses, though, lol.)
The jury is still out on this one. I just hope I don’t end up spending Christmas in hospital, hooked up to a drip. I’m trying to stall going for the cortisone as long as possible. My GP and Neuro told me that if you take it too often, you get other complications. No thanks! Hopefully I can make it to the new year, at least.

My sis-in-law is going through a rough spot. She is 8 months pregnant, and has developed an awful allergic rash, which is very worrying, as she is feeling faint, and the baby is inactive when the rash is bad. This must be very stressful for her. I hope they get it sorted out soon for her.

My mom has a ‘frozen shoulder’ which means that there is a small section in her shoulder that has calcified and is causing her a great deal of pain. Thankfully, she is doing much better already, after the meds the doc gave her.

Michael gashed his head open this afternoon on the bracket of our security door. It bled a lot and I’m quite worried about it. We did clean it up, and I don’t think it’s too deep.

Now for the good news, lol.

One of my oldest and dearest friends came to visit me today. We’ve been friends since we were both six. She and her mom popped by briefly and she gave me a Christmas present – the sweetest little pair of pj’s. I loved seeing her mom, as I am very fond of her. I often had sleep-overs at their house growing up. Her mom told me I look beautiful, which was nice, as I didn’t have a scrap of make-up on and still have the remnants of my little hormonal/ junk-food break-out.
When they left, she told me again that I’m looking so good, better even than at the Matric Farewell. “But I didn’t look that hot at the matric farewell, none of us did,” I countered.
“I thought I didn’t look so bad,” my friend said.
This is true, she looked absolutely beautiful. I, on the other hand, would have looked all right if my hair hadn’t been blow-waved and sprayed into a very unsexy, rigid helmet. My dress was exquisite, though. My granny made it for me.

I had a good injection tonight. In fact, it was so painless I wasn’t sure if the needle actually went in, until I saw the puncture mark. I also got to take a myprodol, which should help my knee, I’m thinking. I hope I’m not hooked on myprodols by now, as I take one every second day, with the injections. One is only supposed to take them for four weeks at a stretch, and I’m heading for the three month mark. Oops! But at this stage it’s the least of my worries.

I got a nice phone-call last night from a girl who was in my class at high-school. I saw her in town the other day, for the first time in 7 years. She took my number, but I was so surprised when she phoned. We weren’t especially close, but we had a great chat. She phoned to say merry X-mas before she goes on holiday. It actually left me with a lovely warm feeling. It really is the people that make life special.

Silly bit of information that popped into my head today: if I hadn’t been called Margaret (Maggie) then it would have been Heidi (my dad’s choice) or Bronwyn (my mom’s choice). As it is, I was named after my granny. I’m the youngest in a looooong line of Margarets. My granny is known as ‘Peggy’, though. And my aunt is known as ‘Margie’.

Counting my blessings:

*I have a great family.
*I have a very supportive and loving husband.
*I have really great friends.
*I have a (fairly attractive) roof over my head.
*I am well-fed, LOL
*I’m not called Heidi, lol. (Only joking, I’m a big Heidi fan).
*I have a sense of humour that’s seen me through some tough times.
*I’m blessed by being strong, emotionally. I think if I wasn’t I’d be stark, raving mad by now.
*I’m fortunate enough to be on a disability pension.

That’s eight blessings already, and I’m not even trying, lol.

*I’m blessed with a love for books and music, so when I end up confined to the house I am well able to entertain myself.
*I am quite doted on by my family. I don’t know what I’d do without them.
*This time last year, I had a bladder-infection. I remember, because it was over Christmas. So now I can really appreciate not having one. On the contrary, my cheap Japanese bladder is in the best shape it’s been in for ages.
*I’ve been married to my sweetheart and soulmate for nearly five years, and things just keep getting better. In the words of TOYOTA: Everything keeps going right.

Okay, that’s enough blessings for now.

Can I make a list of whinges? Oh right, I already did. For the past three posts, ha ha.

Anyway, must go to sleep now. After all, I have to be up at 10am to watch The Weakest Link. Hahahahaha!
I am excited about tomorrow. I just know it’s going to be a lovely day.

PS - Thanks for bearing with me when I was down in the dumps.

PPS - It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!

And last, but certainly not least, I am officially back on my diet. I ate really well today. Yesterday we had take-aways (KFC) but that because Michael simply had to have the free CD that they were advertising for the family feast. And it would have been churlish for me not to join him, lol. But he's gotten it out of his system now, and we have made a pact to be help each other eat right!

I'm feeling better...how about that.

Not physically better, mind. Let's not get carried away here.
But mentally, loads better.
I had a very nice afternoon visiting with both of my parents while M played golf (imagine that) with my cousin and uncle. We got back fairly late. Stopped off at ANAT on the way home, as I had a craving for a Falafel. It was very nice.
Then stopped off to see if my godson, Jason, was all right. He fell off the golfcart onto his face and got his foot ridden over. Luckily kids are so malleable. He's fine.
Watched 50 First Dates and cried! Love that movie. Just love it. Top ten movie, definitely.
I was supposed to order my serrapeptase tonight but once again put it off. But I'm tired now. Too tired to research which is the cheapest product. The best potency product. The most reputable site.
I have to go to bed as my maid might be coming tomorrow at the crack of dawn (i.e. 8:30 lol) She cancelled last week, and M spoke to her, but can't remember when they decided she is coming again.

Won't be posting much (or at all) this week. Once again, I've revved the phone account, and now in honour of the last week of the 'phone month' can't go near it.

Looking forward to this week, though.
I may be a bit of an AmaKrokoKroko, but I can still do my favourite things, i.e. Read, Write, Listen to Music, Spend Time with my Loved Ones. Eat! lol.
And I injected tonight, so tomorrow is an injection free day to look forward to. Yay.
Nice TV, too. I've gotten over myself, and my 'no daytime TV' rule. In fact, I've taken to watching the nice morning programs that show, such as reruns of The Weakest Link (which I missed) and nice nature programs. I'm a real sucker for nature programs.

I want to buy myself one of those BuffPuff sponges for my face. I really need to do some exfoliating ASAP. I love BuffPuffs a lot!

Also have to hand my firearm in at the cop-shop tomorrow. I'm getting all nostalgic for it suddenly, even though I never even once fired it. (long story) But I'd rather have a tin of mace, frankly. I don't think I could actually shoot someone. Not until it was too late, anyway. But I have no compulsion against using a pepper-spray.

I'm all blogged out for now. Plus I'm falling asleep. Nitey nite!

I do love Sundays

Yesterday, I felt quite a bit better. Hit my usual low mid-afternoon, but it was not a bad day. Also, I started taking my proteolytic enzymes, which help to break down proteins during digestion. There is a theory that ms is caused by a leaky gut. This basically translates to a stomach membrane that is too permeable and allows proteins through into the blood that are too large and not properly broken down. This, in turn, irritates the immune system, as it battles to differentiate between the foreign protein and it's own bodily protein. It then goes on an anihilating spree, flattening any suspicious looking protein, including it's own. Does that sound feasible? I think there may be a grain of truth in it, which is why I'm taking the enzymes, which help digest the proteins.
I've never displayed any symptoms of a leaky gut, though. I found out that you can go for a blood-test to determine whether you have one, which may not be a bad idea.
I might buy some colostrum from the health shop. That apparently heals up a leaky gut, if you have one. It is bovine colostrum. Mind you, there are so many pregnant women in my family that I could probably buy a tot of it from one of them, lol.
Does it sound like I'm clutching at straws? Maybe, but great discoveries have been made by accident and through perserverance.

That was yesterday.
Today, I'm not feeling so good.
My legs are very, very stiff, and I'm walking like Frankenstein's monster. But now I really don't know if it's a relapse or if it's just the injections buggering me around.
Thing is, when I do have a relapse, I can't tell from day to day if it's getting worse. Only from week to week. It's moves very stealthily. And Christmas is looming, too. I'd love to have it sorted out one way or the other by then.
Thankfully, my eyes have not been affected. But if they are, then I'm taking action. The only reason that I'm able to cope at all is because I can read and work on the computer.

I read yesterday about a guy who had stem cell replacement for his ms. It always sounded so appealing to me. Not anymore. The things that poor dude went through! No way can I do that.
It sounds pretty experimental still, and there was an 8% fatality rate! Uh-uh.

I would love to go visit my parents today. Don't really feel up to it, but I really need to see them. When M comes home from his golf, I'll ask him to take me.
He really is my pillar of strength. I don't know what I'd do without him. I always said when I was a teen that my ideal guy would have a great semse of humour. That took precedence over everything else.
Well, Michael is the funniest guy I've ever met. We really 'get' each other's (sick) humour.
Plus he's really good-looking. And kind and caring. And my best friend and favourite guy in the whole world.
(I hope he reads this, I could score some serious brownie points, lol)
He has the greatest analogies on life (usually gleaned from the golf course, lol) And he's so clever.
Not that I'm Einstein, or anything, but it must be so tedious to have to explain everything to your life partner the whole time. I just feel like we're on the same wave-length.
Not with computers, though. He's always explaining things to me there!

50 First Dates is showing on TV tonight. I've seen it before but I really loved it. Can't wait to see it again. And King of Queens is always worth a good giggle, too. I'll need that tonight, because I have to bloody inject again. My skin is starting to get irritated from it. Actually I'm starting to get irritated with it! I was all for it when it was actually working! But now I'm not so sure.

I guess I better go wash my hair if I still want to go visiting today. Ithink I'd better. It will be the first time that I've left the flat since last Sunday. No wonder I'm starting to get so cranky. I've obviously got cabin fever.

Here we go again...

I haven’t had the best of weeks.
It would appear that I’m having another relapse.
I’m been having an awful time for the last 2,5 months with these injections, and now it seems as if they’re not working. I don’t know what to do.

I’m having way too many relapses. I’m on these injections, I’ve been doing the whole chelation thing, and I went through some very painful dental surgery, but nothing seems to be helping. I’ve tried LDN. Didn’t work. And now the injections don’t seem to be working that well either.

I’m not supposed to take the IV cortisone more than once every six months, and I have already used it twice in a six month period. It’s way too soon to take it again, but what else can I do? I can’t wait it out, it just gets worse and worse. Last time (August) I waited for a month before taking the stuff, and I ended up completely bed-ridden, paralyzed from the waist down. If I wanted to move my legs I had to physically pick them up with my arms. Add to that severe double-vision and blurriness, dizziness if I so much as moved my head from side to side, and very little bladder control. I just don’t think I can go through that again.
So I guess I’ll take my chances with the cortisone. The short-term side-effects are not nice. They include: an awful skin rash, feeling as though I’ve been hit by a truck, mood-swings and depression, and just being generally zonked out for a week or so. The long-term side-effects are more severe. In fact, I don’t even want to mention them, I’m too scared to even think about it.
If I don’t get my timing right, I’m going to be sick over Christmas. Or even worse, my birthday.

My disability level is at 5.5 on the scale already. It is moving backwards at a frightening speed.

I’ve been very aware of my own mortality this week. Not in a morbid, depressing way. Just in a ‘wake up and smell the coffee’ kind of way. I don’t know how much longer I’ll last if I have to take IV cortisone every three months.
I’m just trying so very hard, and I can’t keep my head above water.
I’ve gotten to the stage now where I’m just handing over my troubles to God and His will be done.
But I can’t think that it is His will for me to be so sick and battling.

My mom was visiting today and I tried to carry on as if everything was normal, but I kept falling over. She phoned afterwards to tell me that she thinks I cope well with it and that I have her respect. That I’m brave.
But I’m not that brave. What else can I do though? I don’t have the energy to thrash around on the floor, that’s for sure.
It’s so lovely and cool here, too. Which usually makes me feel much better. But I battled my ar*e off today. This is what has more or less convinced me that it is a relapse. But I’m giving it another week to see if it gets worse before I go for the meds.

Our Tree!

My wish came true! It rained today. It was so lovely. Nice and cool, and with that lovely fresh, crisp rain smell.
Actually an all-round not too bad day. I felt a bit better today. Definitely more perky, emotionally. I got phone calls from my mom, dad, sister and sister-in-law, which was very nice. I do love talking on the phone. It is one of my favourite things to do. I hate making business calls though, and despise speaking on answering machines

Got v. bad news though. The caretaker of the flats we stay came to ask if we’d mind if they cut down our tree. Mind?? We love that tree. It is an Umbrella tree, and one of the reasons we don’t want to move. It blocks the sun from our bedroom in the Summer, and in the Winter it obligingly loses all its leaves so that we get the winter sun. It is beautiful.
So I told him.
“We’re very fond of the tree,” I said, in clipped tones.
Then he told me some bullsh*t story about how it’s pushing the wall over and the owner doesn’t want damage to the building.
The tree is nowhere near the wall!
Frankly, this guy creeps me out a bit. Anyway, he said he’ll discuss it with the owner and come back to me. I just hope I don’t wake up to the sound of a chain-saw sometime soon! But then we’re moving! M and I have had enough of this place. New neighbours have moved in and they seem to be worse than the previous crowd. They have at least four kids, and at least two dogs, that we’ve seen already. They keep one of the dogs locked up in the garage, and it howls all day. I don’t know who I feel more sorry for – the dog or myself!

Diet: not bad at all. I’m beating the chocolate monster. I’ve had three choc free days already, lol.

I really want to watch a movie called Jean de Florette. (I’m sure I’m spelling this wrong, but anyway). It was the topic of conversation in the chelating room, lol. Everyone saying how it changed their life etc. etc. And I do like Gerard Depardieu.
What else? Must research new MS drug called N-code or encode or something like that. Got tipped off this morning, lol. Also, I need to order serrapeptase from the states. I haven’t been able to find it in SA. I’ve been a bit reluctant to order from overseas, but I don’t want to wait anymore. Apparently this stuff is marvelous, and all natural to boot. I waxed lyrical big time about it on dear departed (who btw is actually no longer dear departed), so I won’t go into it all again. Except that it comes from silkworms (uggh!) and sounds fantastic. Some people with ms have had v. good results, some none at all. This is typical of ms, what works for the one, won’t necessarily work for the other. But there are no side-effects, so I’m keen to try it. Wonder how long it will take to actually get here, though.

Gatvol!

For non-South African readers, 'gatvol' means fed-up. It's actually a none too delicate way of putting it in Afrikaans, but it's as much a part of our heritage as The Springbok Rugby Team. In fact, the two are often mentioned together in the same sentence, lol!

Why am I gatvol? I feel crap, that's why. I feel like I'm sickening for something.
Wait, let me just fall about laughing hysterically at that one!
What I mean is that I feel like I'm getting flu, or a cold.
I think it's just a combination of the chellating chemicals and the beta-inteferon injections that I'm taking. It's so hot here too, which isn't helping matters. There is a heat-wave inching it's way across the country.
It's only 10:12pm and I'm knackered. Normally I last until about 1:30am, at least, before I go to bed. Phew! It's too hot to go to bed, though. But our room is lovely and cool, I don't know what I'm doing sweltering in the computer room like this. The fan is on and there's a lovely breeze coming in the window. I should really go to bed and just sleep it off. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
I seem to remember a similar feeling the last time I went for chellation (way over a month ago). I felt bad the next day. In fact, we dubbed it 'Black Thursday'! And the good news is I did recover from that, so there's hope!
I didn't eat badly at all today. Turned down my favourite cupcakes in all the world. I'm very proud of that. The thing is, I feel especially motivated because today it is exactly a m onth to go before my birthday. So I figured I'd eat really, really healthy till then, so that I can feel halfway decent on my birthday. One can only hope, lol.
I think I'm going to take it ultra easy this week. I'm not going to go out once, if I can help it. I'll just read book and listen to music all week long. A little retreat, if you will. And continue eating well, of course.
My legs have been so stiff today I hardly knew what to do with myself. I've lost count of the number of times I've almost fallen (thankfully, I didn't) and also the number of times I had to pee. Like my sister says, I've got a cheap Japanese bladder. (Cracks me up every time, lol)
I'm just going to have to take it easy with the phone this week. I tend to go balistic on the phone during the first half of the month, and then I have to place myself on rations for the second half, to even things out. Unfortunately, that includes internet, as we still (horrors of horrors) have a dial-up connection. So don't expect too many posts from me till next weekend :-)

I changed my user-pic again. I couldn't stand that other one any more, and replaced it with the current one. Even though it's outdated (taken in April this year) it reminds me of happier times. My hair was still long (why did I cut it! lol) I still wore make-up and I was much healthier.

This is a bit of a moody post. I've got a feeling I've PMS on top of everything else. Like I always say, I can cope with MS and PMS, but not on the same day!
Gee, but I hope it rains tomorrow. I could do with a bit of rain.
I think I will go to sleep now, and just hope that things are better in the morning.

Long time, no blog, lol.

Ooooooh! I see my dear departed old blog is up and running again. Even the template is back. But now I'm torn. I'm much too lazy to maintain two blogs, so I'll have to choose one. Now, the ex blog was much easier to actually add a new post on. But this one is more user-friendly with the font styles and adding pics. I guess I'll go with this one because the old one has proven itself a bit unreliable. But I'm not going to delete the other one. It can maar sit there, it's not costing me anything.

Friday we went to Pretoria for my chellation session. It was just an awful day! We hadn't even been on the road for half an hour when we hit a bird! It hung onto the windscreen all bloodied and tatty, looking me straight in the eye. Then when we actually reached Pretoria, we got a flat on the highway. I had to stand next to Michael as he fixed it, because I was scared people wouldn't see him crouching at the wheel and take him out. We also forgot that the schools closed for the holidays on Friday, so the mall was an absoluted madhouse. We were just so glad to get home.

The weekend was quite nice though.
I'm sure I'll be telling some little anecdotes about it at a later stage, it was quite a trip.