Days 20-23

Day 20

Wow, three weeks are nearly up. I can’t believe how fast the time has passed. For once, time is working for me. I normally don’t like the speed at which time passes, the way the year is running out. We’re already in May, can you believe it?! But with the fast, I don’t mind the time passing because it just brings me one step closer to my goal. Before you know it, two months will have passed. That is the maximum time that I will fast for. Hope I don’t look like someone from a concentration camp by then, though. But like they say: Drastic times call for drastic measures.

Michael did sleep out last night, at a larney guest-lodge in Jo’burg. I remember thinking to myself with my luck there would be a power blackout. I shouldn’t have even thought it. There was indeed a blackout. Only for an hour, fortunately, and the lights came back on just before Pricess Diaries started, so I was happy. Couldn’t find the candles, though, so I drew open the curtains, as it was a bright, moonlit night. That way, I could at least see to walk around. I phoned my mom-in-law to hear if there power was also off. On hearing that I didn’t have the candles close by, she suggested I use Michael’s bicycle’s headlight. It is a bright, fluorescent light, and I could have kicked myself. I sat there in the dark with a powerful light not much further than arm’s length away from me. Shortly after that, the lights came back on.

I got an appointment for the stand-in chiropractor tomorrow morning at twenty to ten. Although I’m feeling a bit nervous, as he’s not my regular guy, I’m very excited at not being in pain anymore. It’s really been too long.

I had a lovely, restful day. Really very peaceful. It’s so nice, because even though I’m not doing much, I feel as though I’m being constructive just by being on the fast. Quite a nice feeling actually. I did spend quite a bit of time fantasizing about food, though, lol.

I’ve Never…

I’ve never taken recreational drugs.
I’ve never tried smoking cigarettes.
(Never saw the need).
I’ve never been overseas.
I’ve never been pregnant.
I’ve never been to varsity.
I’ve never wished I were someone else.
I’ve never given up without a fight.
I’ve never lived alone.
I’ve never regretted marrying Michael.
I’ve never regretted getting married young (21).
I’ve never had my belly-button pierced or gotten a tattoo.
I’ve never not known what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve just had a couple of stumbling blocks along the way.
I’ve never won anything in a luck-generated competition. I did win the relationship-lottery, though :-)
I never knew that there could be such closeness, friendship and passion in a marriage.
I never knew that in the same marriage, you can drive each other up the walls, lol.
I’ve never stopped believing that I can overcome this disease.
I’ve never believed that the Lord meant me to lead a small and sick life.


Day 21:

I seem to be undergoing some mental changes on the fast. I feel very contemplative, about my life and in general. I could happily just sit in the company of my own thoughts all day. Which is basically what I’ve been doing. Apart from watching BBC FOOD channel, lol. Michael thinks I am some kind of masochist.

I feel excited about my future. I can’t see myself going back to the company where I used to work, and do admin-type work. What I can see myself doing, is to complete a course that I have my eye on (correspondence) about Natural Hygiene, which is the lifestyle and way of eating that I believe in. I can see myself being a Nutritional Consultant, and helping people eat better. I like the idea of working out proper diets and eating plans for people to follow. I have been reading up on the subject for years and I really believe in the power of proper nutrition. But I look forward to getting a proper qualification for it.

I went to see the chiropractor today. Very young-looking guy. I didn’t realize he was the doctor. I thought he was a patient himself. In fact, he was walking awkwardly when he came into the waiting room to fetch me. (The reason for this was because there is a slight, uneven ramp by the door). Anyway, I thought, “That poor guy, let me not stare). Then he walked right over to me, introduced himself (by his first name) and asked me to come through to his consulting room.
His approach is slightly different to the one I’m used to, but he’s thorough, and seems to know his stuff. He ruled out that the pain in my hip might be from a very aggressive disease caused by the cortisone. I am so, so relieved about that, as it has been playing on my mind a lot.
He was manipulating my leg to see where it hurt in preparation for jerking it back into place. I gave a little squawk that had not meant to be audible. “Did I hurt you,” he said, all concerned.
“Er…no, it’s just the anticipation,” I replied, with a nervous laugh.
I had a good laugh at myself when I got home about that.
My hip seemed to click in nicely and he gave me some exercises to do that will help the joint. All in all, a good experience. I’ll probably see my regular guy next Monday for a follow-up, though.


So far the pain is still very much present, but I know from experience that it will take a while to calm down.

I’m feeling really hungry tonight. Small wonder. It’s a whole 3 weeks since I last had solid food. Weight is hovering just under 50kg still, so looks like I’m good to go for another couple of weeks. I set the duration of my fast for somewhere between 4-8 weeks. Not < 4, not > 8. Man, but I’m looking forward to that first apple after I’ve broken the fast!

My mom remains very impressed at my ambulatory progress. She says that she hasn’t seen me walking this well in a long time.

Day 22:

Still feeling pretty hungry this morning. The pain is quite bad. I can feel that I had work done on my hips yesterday. I think I’d better go downstairs and make myself some pineapple juice. I’m feeling a bit weak.

I’ve made a bit of a connection about these weekly bouts of weakness and hunger. It is when I drink the bottled prune-juice. Apart from being cooked, and perhaps because of it, it contains very concentrated sugars. I think this interferes with my blood-sugar levels, hence the weakness. Well, that’s the last time I do that.

Annie phoned me today, a bit tearful. She’s going through a bit of a rough time. I wish I could drive through to Jo’burg to go and put my arms around her.

I used to be under the false impression that other people, who have their health, more or less, are happier than I am. I look around me and I see this isn’t so. Considering what I have to put up with, and even notwithstanding, I am one of the happiest people I know. Many people just are not happy with their lives. They do nothing but complain about them, making no attempt to fix what is wrong. I guess this is the type of thing you see clearly in other people, and never pick up about yourself. Michael would probably disagree with me, as he has been subject to a fair amount of complaining from me this past while. But that may have something to do with the fact that I’ve been in severe pain, and can’t take pain-killers because I’m on a fast. I should really have gone to the chiropractor’s ages ago.

I caught an excellent movie on tv this afternoon, Before Sunset, with Ethan Hawke. It is exactly the kind of low-key movie that I enjoy. No action or special-effects, just sharp dialogue, good acting and a lovely story. Quite charming.
It goes about a couple that have one passionate encounter while on vacation in Europe, and then lose touch with each other accidentally. They meet up nine years later, to discover that although they have changed, along with their circumstances, they still have feelings for each other.
The whole movie plays off in Paris, with really nice background footage, and in scene after scene, all you see is the couple talking to each other, picking up exactly where they left off. I really enjoyed it.

The pain has been bad all day, but as I recall, it is always the day after a visit to the chiro that is the worst. So hopefully tomorrow will be a bit better.

Day 23:

Today was an average fasting day, except for one thing: I BROKE MY FAST! And believe me, I’m as surprised as anybody. It was as a result of a couple of things. Firstly, I was feeling irritated by the singing coming from next door. I’ve really had an overdose of that woman’s voice – the WHOLE afternoon. But I don’t think that was quite the reason, lol. I read one of my fasting books, and the doctor that wrote it isn’t that impressed with juice-fasting versus water-fasting. He gave some very valid reasons, too. I’ve always thought that water fasting was superior, even though markedly less comfortable to actually do. I am very pleased with my juice-fast, but I don’t want to deplete my reserves too much, as I still plan on following a water-fasting program in the not-too-distant future.
But that still wasn’t the whole reason. The other is that I’m so tired of making juice with aching hips. I’ve really had it with the pain, and trying to fast at the same time. At this stage, I don’t even need comfort food. Any food will do! Ha ha. I’ll do another fast when my hip and back pain is GONE, thank you very much.
Speaking of which, the pain is marginally better today. At least it seems to be moving in the right direction since my chiropractor visit.
It was quite surreal, breaking the fast. I wasn’t feeling particularly hungry or anything. I just felt ready to break it. Those first few apples that I had were really gourmet-class yum! I’ve had 7 apples since breaking the fast. Doesn’t seem to be any problems so far. Tomorrow I’m hoping to get hold of a ripe avo. Can’t wait. Wonder if Woolworths has any dates I stock?

All in all, a very good experience. I’m very satisfied with my 22,5 day juice-fast.
Oh, and I lost about 3-4 kg. Nothing too drastic. Unfortunately I can’t post my ‘after’ photo, as we are still waiting for our new camera.

Thank you for all the positive and helpful comments, and sharing this experience with me.