Day 19. Reflections on why's and wherefore's.

Day 19 is going super so far. Michael made me orange and grapefruit juice in bed - how spoiled am I? It's so great that he is supporting me in this. He says that he's proud of me for doing it, and helps me a lot with the practicalities of juicing. This is of inestimable value. All the fasting books say not to surround yourself with people who don't understand, and give negative (albeit concerned) criticism the whole time. But Michael is an intelligent and sensitive soul. He knows this is my best bet. He's against me doing a water-fast again though, lol. I think I may have traumatised him and my mom during my last water-fast. I got very weak and feeble, ha ha, but I try to explain to them that it was because I was already in the throes of as MS relapse. It's been well noted to myself, however: DON"T FAST DURING A RELAPSE< DAMMIT! It really makes things worse.

At twelve, my mom and Taryn (the fabulous niece and goddaughter of mois) will be coming to visit. I am really looking forward to that. Michael might be sleeping over in Joburg for work purposes tonight. (He'll be attending a meeting tomorrow morning). However, he is currently playing club championships at the golf-course, and I don't know if he'll be finished in time to go. It's not absolutely necessary for him to attend, so he may end up not going. If he does, though, I'll be happy enough on my own. The Princess Diaries 2 is showing tonight, and I've really been looking forward to that. Also, the repeat of The Butterfly Effect, so I can finally watch the ending.

Something I've been meaning to address:

My reasons for going on the juice fast:

I have been inching my way up the scale of disability (in the wrong direction!) I am currently between 5.5 and 6 on this scale. My concern is that there has been a major decline since a year ago. A year ago, I could still walk relatively normally. I went shopping, without aid. Went to the hypermarket and mall if I felt like it. Michael and I went on trips, we visited more with friends and I even still did my own housework (I use that phrase in it's loosest form, lol). I had no problem doing the washing, hanging it up, etc. I did a lot more cooking than I do now, had dinner parties etc. That has all changed. Any of the above has become a major effort, and needs a lot of planning. Some of the things I just plain can't do anymore.

Fortunately, I am able to walk again. At one stage, this was only a dream. I am so grateful for this, but it is a place to which I do not wish to return.
Now, MS is considered incurable in the medical profession. The best treatment available is the beta inteferon drugs, which did not work for me. Also, the cortisone treatment which does help to stop my relapses has become way too frequent. The long-term side-effects are frightening, especially some things that I found out recently which I don't even want to discuss. So, basically, prognosis is not looking that great. A lot of PwMS are in a wheelchair after ten years of having the disease.

Bring in the juice-fasting.
Fasting is not a magic cure. But what it does do is to give the body a rest, so that the true miracle can happen. Yousee, our bodies are designed to heal themselves. But with the way that most of us (myself, certainly) eat, so much of the bodily energy is diverted to try and digest the large and indigestible meals we are continuously eating, that the body never gets a chance to 'clean-house'.
After three days of fasting, the digestive process shuts down, and suddenly all that available energy gets to work on cleaning up the mess one has made of one's body. After the stored resources of the body have been digested, the body starts on Autolysis mode, where it begins to self-digest. This sounds scary, but in truth the body is very discriminate in this, and starts with cells that are diseased, dead or damaged. Isn't that clever. Herein lies the basis of fasting effect. The diseased parts are digested and toxins are released into the blood-stream to be eliminated. This is why one generally doesn't feel too good on a water fast, especially, as all those toxins are being released.

I realise now, in retrospect, that I was very naive to think that my ten-day water fast that I did some years ago, would cure me. I was so disappointed that I had to have cortisone again. The fast did help to reverse some disability, but it never cured me. Now I understand that it is a long process and a lifestyle. A ten-day fast is not going to reverse a whole lifetime of abuse to one's body.
My favourite new referance article abouot fasting suggests that it will probably take three months of (water) fasting to get rid of a chronic illness. Not continuous fasting, but a series of fasts inbetween which very nutricious and healthy food is eaten. I see it now as a year, or two-year long process. There is no quick cure.

So after I have finished my juice-fast, I will continue to eat very healthy, mostly raw foods and to continue with periodic fasts until I have sorted myself out for good.

Goals for the juice fast, what I hope to achieve:

• My first and foremost goal is to arrest the disease. I need to stop it's activity in my body.
• I will still make use of the IV cortisone where neccessary until this is achieved, to prevent further disability.
• My next goal would be to reverse disability that has already occurred, which I fully believe is possible.
• I see myself making a full recovery and going on to lead a completely normal life. I believe this is important to believe in, because one has to have something to believe in, right, and why not reach for the stars.

On a last note, I'm really psyched to go see the (stand-in) chiropractor this week. You know why!

Oh, and we heard back from the insurance, and might be getting our new camera this week. We might belatedly try and have it fixed, though, as this might be a better option. Our cammie is insured for R4500, and as the rand is much stronger than it was, you can get a camera for the same specifications as ours for a much cheaper price. So the insurance wants to palm off a cheaper camera (albeit with the same specs) on us, than the amount that we are insured for, which I think is unfair. We have, after all, been paying high premiums because of the high value of the camera. That is nonsense. So we're going to look into having it fixed and cancelling the claim, as it would mean losing our 'no-claim' bonus next year, of about R3000.