Today

I don’t feel too bad this morning, touch wood. Unfortunately things do seem to degenerate during the course of the day, however. Still, I’m not about to start predicting the future, so until further notice, I’m feeling fine.

My little Christmas –Beetle (a.k.a the computer) is going ape as I type this. I hope it’s not packing up, that’s all I can say. I think it might be worth it to back up some of my stuff. Can’t say I wasn’t warned.

I am turning into Scrabble pro. Yesterday, I made the word, ‘acquit’ for a helluva lot of points, lol. I think it was on triple word score, too. This is an improvement on the four letter words that I was cobbling together, lol. I am enjoying this game. I’m looking forward to playing against online opponents.

I’ve been asked out on a date for lunch. My ol’ hubby phoned this morning and asked if I would like to go to my favourite restaurant. He has sold a little oven that he won in a golf competition (we didn’t like it) and says he wants to spoil me a bit with the money. I like this particular restaurant, because it serves fairly healthy and very delicious food. They have a vegetarian burger to die for. A lovely chickpea patty (and yes, this is more appetizing than it sounds, lol) with a sort of creamed spinach topping. Mmmmmm. Or maybe I’ll have a savoury waffle, haven’t tried that yet. They also make a carrot and banana cake to die for. Usually I get that, and Michael gets a strawberry cheesecake and we go half half with each. It makes us feel so decadent, like having two desserts. I just hope I can walk into the restaurant, as my legs have a mind of their own, and can take the afternoon off at very short notice if they feel like it. Bastards. Only kidding. The poor darlings are doing their best, I’m sure. It’s me that’s the bastard by constantly eating junk food. In my defense though, I went through a (very bloody) long stage where I just ate steamed vegetables and fruit and endless salad and fish for protein, washing it down with only the finest homemade carrot juice, and that never made a difference either. Mmmm, so what else can I pin the bastard label on? Fate? Yes, I like that. Fate’s a bastard.

We had an interesting conversation last night. Apparently, pregnancy is pretty good for MS. Because a woman’s immune system goes through changes to stop her from rejecting the baby, this can also be beneficial for MS, as it stops the immune system from attacking it’s own nerves, which is it’s favourite hobby in MS.
Anyway, so I said to Mike that I think it would be the most selfish thing I could possibly do to fall pregnant now. He answered that no man will ever support a woman like he will if I should fall pregnant. And I believe him, but that’s not the point. I don’t want to have a child for other people to have to raise, and what about the baby? How will he/she like it if it’s mom can’t do stuff with it half the time?
But the idea is pretty tempting, if pregnancy is indeed so good for MS. A friend of mine hasn’t had a day’s trouble with her ms since falling pregnant. And it’s been nearly two years now. But then again, my ms has never acted like it’s supposed to act. I think I have a rogue case.
Still, I said to Michael, maybe it’s worth a shot. I’ve tried everything else, might as well try that. (And I mean, we do really want a baby). I so wouldn’t mind being pregnant if I could just catch a couple of months break here. But if it works, I’ll have to get pregnant again as soon as the baby’s born, I said (decidedly tongue in cheek). And just keep on and on having them. Michael didn’t look so keen on that, lol. But what would we eventually do with all those children, I said, thoughtfully, then brightened as I told him, I know! I’ll become a surrogate mother. This womb is doing nothing. Let it earn its keep. I could make a killing if I went professional. (I was joking, of course). Michael shook his head. No, pregnany is hard on The Woman, he said. Well, MS is hard on The Woman, too, said I, giggling at my own (sarcastic) wit.
Then we had a good laugh at ourselves, at our little flight of fantasy.

My main concern is the possibility of having to take IV cortisone while pregnant. It’s bad enough having to take it when it’s just me, and it hasn’t been proven safe in pregnancy, belonging to class C of drugs. And if I do have a relapse, I don’t have all that much choice in the matter. I have to take the meds. Most women say grandiosely that they would rather die than have any harm come to their unborn child. But I wonder what they would do if faced with the choice of either possibly harming their child, or living a life unable to walk, see, control their bladder, even swallow, never mind to actually care for their child. Which is why at this stage I prefer not to take the risk (of falling pregnant). I just feel that it’s not my life to mess with.


Back from the restaurant. It was quite an entertaining experience. There was a large group of older ladies, either Portuguese or Greek from the sound of it that were shouting at each other the whole time we were there. The other diners were also talking louder than necessary to compensate. The noise was reaching a dangerous decibel level, and it nearly drove us nuts. Fortunately, the food more than made up for it. I had the most fantastic savoury waffle, with a filling of mushrooms, feta, spinach & bacon, with some sort of cheese sauce over it. We asked for our dessert as a takeaway. As per agreed we each had half a carrot & banana cake and half a cheeses-cake. So heavenly. They make the best dessert of any place I know of by far. I’ve decided to stop buying crappy, stale confectionary from supermarkets and instead go to this restaurant, even if it is only once a month. Actually that is not a bad idea. The once a month part, I mean.
Actually, I’ve decided to eat really well for the month of December. Like I used to eat, before I fell off the wagon. Michael very rudely did not believe me when I told him, lol. Said he’s heard that one before. Hmmmm, he may have a point there. But fortunately I have the type of personality where if someone tells me I won’t/can’t do something, I will bend over backwards to prove them wrong. So this actually bodes well for my diet.
The walking, she is not so good. All that I would like to know is, is it the new batch of injections causing a temporary setback, or is this the start of another relapse? I guess I’ll be finding out soon.
Strangely enough, I feel quite matter of fact about it. There is very little emotion attached to it at this stage. For which I am grateful. That is what I hate the most about the cortisone. Out goes the stoic acceptance and in comes emotional incontinence. Still, I am slowly being converted from a bunny-hugging alternative healing follower, to a ‘give me more drugs’ type personality, Somewhere there has to be a happy medium.
I read once an account of a medical doctor who has MS. Asked her opinion on whether it is better to go alternative or mainstream medicine, she replied, “I didn’t realize it was a choice.”